Has TV changed people's relationship expectations?

Watch even a few dramas or sitcoms, and a familiar pattern emerges: Tension builds between two of the primary characters. Sometimes they outwardly despise one another; sometimes they acknowledge an attraction but are kept apart by jobs, spouses, the fear of ruining a friendship or other situations outside of their control. But whether they are FBI agents, Dunder Mifflin employees, shipwrecked castaways, ER doctors and nurses, or vampires and mere mortals, we the viewers become convinced that they are soul mates, and their story arc is what keeps us coming back week after week. Soap operas used to call them "super couples," while TV fan boards have their own term for it: OTP, the "One True Pairing." Can real-life love ever measure up?

Of course, the minute these soul mates do get together, the writers need to find new ways to spice things up. And so the best-friends-turned-lovers become ex-lovers, then best friends again, all without permanently shattering their extended circle of friends (see "Friends," "How I Met Your Mother" and "Grey's Anatomy," to name just a few).

Family sitcoms and dramas from "The Brady Bunch" to "Family Ties" to "Gilmore Girls" have featured idealized parents who listen, understand and admit their mistakes -- and kids who come around to their parents' point of view within the space of an episode. These couples and families seemingly have it all: careers, marriage, perfect kids, witty banter, fabulous social lives, and quick, satisfying resolutions to even the most daunting problems and challenges.

At the other end of the spectrum are shows that portray one or both members of a couple in a negative light. Shows like "According to Jim," "King of Queens," and, to some extent, "Modern Family," rely on a bumbling dad and husband inexplicably paired with an attractive, together mom and wife, while "Married with Children," "Roseanne" and "Malcolm in the Middle" play up the shortcomings of both partners.

We've come to expect these themes from our favorite TV shows, but do they affect the way we approach real life?

Most of us like to think we're smart enough to understand the difference between TV and reality. The good news is that we're mostly right: Participants in more than one study have described television love stories as "depicting an unrealistic view of relationships based on passion, adventure and exotic situations" [source: Osborn]. But even as we recognize that many TV relationships are romanticized and idealized, we prefer the notion of passion and romance to the rational, "common sense" relationships that we condone in real life [source: Osborn].

Researchers have even demonstrated a possible link between frequent TV viewing and unrealistic expectations about pay, workplace relationships and other working conditions. It seems that viewers who watch the most TV are more likely to overestimate the kinds of salaries, perks and benefits that might be extended to a new hire, and underestimate the level of experience or education required for certain professional occupations [source: Waldeck].

Of course, not everything is rosy in TV land. Whether daytime or prime time, scripted or reality, in some television universes, everyone cheats, small misunderstandings become huge blowups, and gossip and pettiness reign. (We call these shows "dramas" for a reason!) One study explored the role of television in shaping viewers' attitudes toward marriage and found that those who watched the most TV were more likely to have negative views toward marriage. The researchers hypothesized that because viewers saw so few depictions of happy marriage on TV, they may have begun to question it as a way of life [source: Osborn]. Another study found that college students who watched the most reality dating programs were more likely to express negative attitudes toward dating and embrace stereotypes about dating and relationships [source: Zurbriggen].

So what's the verdict? Has television really changed our real-life relationship expectations? While several studies point toward a link of some kind between heavy TV viewing and unrealistic expectations about romantic, family and professional relationships -- particularly for younger viewers with more TV experience than real world experience -- researchers stop short of establishing cause and effect, instead using terms like "association" and "correlation" to describe the interaction between our TV viewing habits and our attitudes toward relationships [sources: Osborn, Segrin, Waldeck and Zurbriggen].

The bottom line? We may never know whether television in fact shapes our relationship expectations, or whether we simply gravitate toward those programs that reinforce our own fantasies about love, work, family and friendship.