5 Things Your Man Won't Tell You About Valentine's Day

It's not that your beau doesn't like Valentines Day -- it's just that his idea of a perfect Feb. 14 and yours aren't the same. We'll put it this way: He's not pining for diamonds or even a box of candy.

Men have other issues on their minds, and regardless if those thoughts revolve around sports, money or, well, something else, chances are the two of you are focusing on different things as Valentine's Day approaches.

But don't drown your sorrows in chocolate or start tossing candy hearts in frustration just yet! We're here to dish about his real feelings on the most romantic day of the year. You're already in his heart, so we'll give you a glimpse into his mind. We'll tell you what he really thinks about love and lingerie. Just be prepared for disappointment. He's not nearly as romantic as you are.

They're pretty and smell nice, but it's not all roses when it comes to your man and flowers. Find out the redolent reality on the next page.

5: Flowers Break the Bank

If you want to know the cold, hard truth, your man thinks that flowers are a total waste of money. They die after, like, five days. And around Valentine's Day, roses get marked up like crazy! A dozen any other day of the year would cost a guy about $20, but in February, he'll be breaking out more than $50 to foot the bill.

Unless he wants to look like a cheapskate -- which he doesn't -- he'll have to spend a Benjamin or more on a fragrant floral arrangement that'll be tossed out alongside next week's trash.

At least diamonds last forever. But don't get your hopes up: He probably isn't planning to buy you any sparkly rocks, but if he did, you'd still be able to appreciate them (and him) years later. More on that topic next.

4: He's Not Santa, You Know

A man has one major problem with getting diamonds for his Valentine: Christmas was less than 60 days ago! How much bling does a girl need?

After stepping in for the big man in red and buying baubles for your birthday and anniversary, the last thing your guy needs is a holiday that practically mandates he drop an unreasonable wad of cash on jewelry. As we mentioned, he's already shelling out big bucks for flowers. And we're just guessing, but you'll probably expect a romantic dinner, too.

3: February What?

To actually woo you on Valentine's Day with flowers, diamonds or dinner, your man has to deal with one major hurdle. It may seem minor to you, but he can't remember what day Valentine's falls on. He knows it's in February, but the exact date? Uh, he'll need to ask his sister just to be sure. It's sometime near the All-Star Game, but other than that, he hasn't got a clue.

2: No Way Lingerie

Unfortunately for you, his sister is also good for more than just remembering holiday dates. You know how he acts all tough, but inside he's just a shy little softie? Well, he's way too bashful to walk into a boutique and buy you lingerie. It's far too embarrassing, so he had his sister do it. And in case you're wondering why that camisole doesn't fit quite right and the bra seems to be the wrong size, it's because he didn't tell her your size. So, yes, your new lingerie might be a little too snug or way too big -- just depending on how your sister-in-law perceives you. What a gift!

1: He's Just Not That Into Chocolate

It doesn't matter that the new lingerie doesn't fit so well, because he doesn't plan on keeping you in it very long, anyway. The truth is, regardless if he's a new beau or you've been married for 10 years, he's pining for only one thing this Valentine's Day (and every other day of the year, for that matter), and it's not dinner and a movie. The flowers, diamonds and chocolates are all a build-up to unwrapping the only present he really cares about: you. But since he's too macho to write that in a greeting card, consider us the bearers of this sweet news.