He's Lazy (and Slightly Crazy)
Some people will go to great lengths to avoid leaving the house for a fresh pack of cigarettes. In 2010, a slightly unhinged Canadian man made repeated calls to 911 (Canadians use that number too) demanding with increasing fervor that the police help get the Winnipeg Jets professional hockey team to return from NHL exile in Atlanta. To his credit, ice hockey in Georgia makes as much sense as beach volleyball in Saskatchewan.
After 911 dispatchers warned him (politely, of course — they're Canadian) that another call would land him in jail, the man welcomed a visit from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, adding, "If you're coming to get me, can you bring me some smokes?"[source: McIntyre].