Our lawsuit-obsessed society has forced product manufacturers to cover their "you-know-whats" by writing warning labels to protect us from ourselves. Some are funny, some are absolutely ridiculous, but all are guaranteed to stand up in court.
1. Child-size Superman and Batman costumes come with this warning label: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
2. A clothes iron comes with this caution: "Warning: Never iron clothes on the body." Ouch!
3. The instructions for a medical thermometer advise: "Do not use orally after using rectally."
 The warning on pepper spray reads "May irritate eyes." |
4. The side of a Slush Puppy cup warns: "This ice may be cold." The only thing dumber than this would be a disclaimer stating: "No puppies were harmed in the making of this product."
5. The box of a 500-piece puzzle reads: "Some assembly required."
6. A Power Puff Girls costume discourages: "You cannot save the world!"
7. A box of PMS relief tablets has this advice: "Warning: Do not use if you have prostate problems."
8. Cans of Easy Cheese contain this instruction: "For best results, remove cap."
9. A warning label on a nighttime sleep-aid reads: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
10. Cans of self-defense pepper spray caution: "May irritate eyes."
11. Both boys and girls should read the label on the Harry Potter toy broom: "This broom does not actually fly."
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:
Helen Davies, Marjorie Dorfman, Mary Fons, Deborah Hawkins, Martin Hintz, Linnea Lundgren, David Priess, Julia Clark Robinson, Paul Seaburn, Heidi Stevens, and Steve Theunissen
