It's 5:43 a.m. on a Tuesday, and you're standing bleary-eyed in the airport security line hoping to make your flight to Dallas. All around you, blue-uniformed Transportation Security Agency (TSA) officers are barking out instructions. "Please remove all shoes, belts, wallets, cell phones and keys!" "Please take out all laptop computers and place them in a separate bin!" "Please place all gels and liquids in a zip-top bag!"
Shuffling along in your socks, your belt-less pants slowly slipping south, you pass a sign displaying the list of prohibited items: guns, knives, Tasers, lighters, fireworks, combustible liquids. As you hand your photo ID to the TSA agent, you can't help but wonder if this is all a huge waste of time. After all, how many morons really try to bring a gun onto an airplane in this age of post-9/11 hyper-security?
According to the TSA, exactly 1,813 of them in 2013.
For the record, a TSA spokesperson informed us that agents do not confiscate contraband items. They allow a passenger to give the item to the friend who dropped him off; to mail it somewhere or to surrender it to the TSA. Most choose the latter.
When it comes to weird things found by TSA agents, guns are just the tip of the psycho iceberg. Keep reading to hear about bold travelers who tried to smuggle bags of live eels, chain saws and human skull fragments through security. Just be thankful you weren't behind them in line.