Ah, winter. It's a perfectly serene and picturesquely snowy night -- the first when the temperature has dropped low enough to justify building a fire -- so you swing by the grocery store and pick up an armful of fireplace logs. Once you've returned home ready to build a crackling fire, you position them in the hearth so they'll burn well.
But just before you go to light them, you see this: "Caution - Risk of Fire." Wait ... that's what you wanted, right? But alas! The absurdity isn't over yet. Look at the fireplace lighter, too. Emblazoned across the side is a dire warning: "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks."
Well, you think to yourself, this is going to be problematic ... You can't use your lighter near the fire it's going to start, and your log may just cause the fire you want in your fireplace. Quite the conundrum.