Not Celebrating Yourself
Sometimes, if you want something done right (or even done at all), you have to do it yourself. It's becoming extremely common for people to throw their own birthday, housewarming, engagement and other parties, sometimes because they just enjoy playing the host, but often because no one else offers to do it for them!
Although considered fairly tacky in the past, some etiquette experts can handle the trend of self-celebration, as long as it's done with style. For example, inviting guests to a birthday party where they have to provide or pay for food, drinks and the implied gift is placing the burden squarely on their shoulders, despite the fact that you planned the soiree. By contrast, hosting a party with all the trimmings on a date that just happens to be on or near your birthday relieves the attendees from responsibility [source: Miss Manners]. There's no sense in moping around, wishing for a fete you're physically and financially capable of throwing yourself, so do it up right and toast yourself quietly for bucking a pretty benign tradition!
Author's Note: 10 Etiquette Rules Nobody Follows Anymore
Modern etiquette is really all about opening your eyes and being cognizant of other people's needs and feelings. I doubt I make it through every day without committing some faux pas, but I try and that has to count for something!
More Great Links
- BabyCenter. "Baby Shower Planning and Etiquette." 2015 (May 28, 2015) http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-shower-planning-and-etiquette_1642.bc?showAll=true
- Bradford, Stacey. "Money and Manners: Are You Offensive?" CBS News. Sept. 10, 2010 (May 28, 2015) http://www.cbsnews.com/news/money-and-manners-are-you-offensive/
- Burnley, Staci-Jill. Interview via e-mail. May 25, 2015.
- Dell, Jenny. Interview via e-mail. May 25, 2015.
- Desiree J. Interview via e-mail. May 28, 2015.
- Dubin, Julie Weingarden. "Second Wedding, Second Chance." Bridal Guide. 2015 (May 27, 2015) http://www.bridalguide.com/planning/etiquette/roles-responsibilities/second-wedding-second-chance
- Dyas, Brie. "7 Things People Dressed Up For In Our Grandparents' Day." Huffington Post. Jan. 25, 2014 (May 27, 2015) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brie-dyas/7-things-people-used-to-dress-up-for_b_4318520.html
- Emily Post. "Party Etiquette Tips for Hosts and Guests." 2015 (May 28, 2015) http://www.emilypost.com/social-life/hosts-and-guests/466-party-etiquette-tips-for-hosts-and-guests
- Emily Post. "Welcome from the Posts!" 2015 (May 26, 2015) http://www.emilypost.com/
- Field, Jeanne. "On a personal note: thank you." Hallmark. 2015 (May 26, 2015) http://www.hallmark.com/thank-you/ideas/how-to-write-a-thank-you-note/
- Fitzpatrick, Laura. "Why We Can't Wear White After Labor Day." Time. Sept. 8, 2009 (May 27, 2015) http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1920684,00.html
- Guth, Tracy. "Remarriage: 2nd, 3rd, or 4th Wedding FAQ." The Knot. 2015 (May 27, 2015) https://www.theknot.com/content/getting-remarried-faq
- Hood, Courtney. Interview via e-mail. May 25, 2015.
- Johnson, Monique. Interview via e-mail. May 26, 2015.
- Kiessel, Wendy. Interview via e-mail. May 25, 2015.
- Kirchoff, Jill. Interview via e-mail. May 25, 2015.
- Marcowicz, Karol. "6 Rules for 'Happy Birthday' Etiquette in the Age of Facebook." Time. March 23, 2015 (May 28, 2015) http://time.com/3751376/happy-birthday-wishes-facebook-twitter-etiquette/
- Martin, Judith. "There is no such thing as being 'fashionably late.'" Reading Eagle. Aug. 31, 2003 (May 28, 2015) https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1955&dat=20030830&id=nwIiAAAAIBAJ&sjid=CKMFAAAAIBAJ&pg=2816,9369468&hl=en
- McKee, Maralee. "RSVP Etiquette for Guests and Hosts: The Newest Manners for This Fading Art." Manners Mentor. 2015 (May 26, 2015) http://www.mannersmentor.com/social-situations/the-number-one-etiquette-violation-are-you-guilty-too
- Miss Manners. "If you throw your own party, keep your guests in mind." The Washington Post. March 17, 2013 (May 28, 2015) http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-if-you-throw-your-own-party-keep-your-guests-in-mind/2013/03/05/f44ee0f8-82a4-11e2-8074-b26a871b165a_story.html
- Pennacchia, Robyn. "9 extremely outdated etiquette tips from the 1950s." Death and Taxes. April 22, 2013 (May 26, 2015) http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/197370/9-extremely-outdated-etiquette-tips-from-the-1950s/
HowStuffWorks talks with transgender experts to find out ways to be more inclusive of gender when speaking and how to use gender-neutral pronouns.